A lot has happened since my last entry; much of what occurred has kept me from even being able to sit and think…
At the end of June, on the same day, I turned 49 and I was let go from my job. Yeah, the cool one I wrote about earlier. Without warning. I don’t qualify for UI, or for emergency rent assistance, so my awesome best friend set up a GoFundMe to try to help me get through the summer. I moved through a roll of panic, then resignation, then amazement as I saw the generosity of Paganistan, the Fire Circle, the hoodoo community, the Discorders for KFAI FM’s Weekend on Demand show (Saturdays 5:00 to 7:00 PM CST! CRZ plays your requests!) The magic of true generosity and community was, again, a miracle that played out before me. I have some breathing room… it helps, but I couldn’t shake that, yet again, I’ve busted my ass doing prosperity work… and for a six week job. And I wasn’t, just like with previous jobs, let go because of anything I did or didn’t do; yet again, forces out of my control (this time, the testing center closed) or ability to predict just dropped into play, and here I am fighting poverty again.
So, I got readings and magical help from nearly everyone I could…
Maranda pulled the Tower card first in her reading.
Are you going to Fire Circle next week? She asked. Yep, sure am, I said. I paid for that back in January. Then GO and DO YOUR THING!! she said. This is showing a big change in your energy that will happen. Go do what it is you and your people do…
What’s Fire Circle? Column: Festival Fragility and Sacred Fire Circle in Paradise | Paganism, Perspectives (wildhunt.org)
Only the most important ritual magic I do in my life. Only the most important people to me. Only the best shit that modern Pagans are doing right now. (More on that later on.) A three night working (no, not a fest, not a party, and not a damn orgy, it’s HARDCORE ritual magic, goddammit) where we all use the land and our own bodies to create an alchemical forge, where we burn off all of our soul dross– you know, the SHIT I wrote about before — and push ourselves to our limits until we unlock our own soul gold. Four teams, four portals, four elements, two fires, thirty-six people, and a ton of drums. (Notes from fire circle will come later on…)
I managed to get lithomancy readings and rootwork on the Lucky Mojo Hoodoo Rootwork Hour before I packed and left for Fire Circle. (You can hear it here, I’m the second client: Lucky Mojo Hoodoo Rootwork Hour: Oracle Hour Lithomancy Jon Saint Germain 7/4/21 07/04 by Lucky Mojo Curio Company | Spirituality (blogtalkradio.com).)
OK, yet another prosperity punch out of my control — what the heck is going on?… Miss Cat Yronwode, ConjureMan, and Jon St. Germain put their heads together for me and you’d better believe I’m listening to these amazing workers. Well… I am not surprised that environmental factors at work, or astrological crappy weather, but when BOTH CM and JSG said I had been evil-eyed, had a rival, had someone that was outwardly supportive but secretly envious working against me, well… I could feel the blood drain from my face…
…and I realized I should have known. Someone supportive and encouraging, but then who is intimidated by you, asks you not to outshine or upstage them or come across as more knowledgeable or popular, is afraid you’ll take what they want, who resents you for just walking into the room… I’d gotten quite used to that in hair salons and faculty breakrooms, where I’d just roll my eyes and ignore it, but someone in my magical world? That smarted… Keep the snakes away, JSG said, as did Miss Cat. Snakes are a powerful symbol for us Pagan women, I said in the chat. Onyx piped up in the chat: yeah, but not all snakes are beneficial. Some will poison and kill you just for being in their territory, remember? True that, I said.
To whomever snakes out there: man, oh man, quit being envious. There’s nothing to envy here. Nothing. Go back to your houses, go back to your security, go back to your families, your spouses, and your predictability. Go roll in your money…
Now I’m awaiting the materia magica to make the amulet Miss Cat prescribed. It’s over, snakes… GET OFF OF MY LAWN!!…
You know what’s great about having magicians for friends? When you are driving on your way to Fire Circle, and you tell your friend who’s driving you, hey, I gotta throw some hoodoo spell detritus out your window into the crossroads. Don’t slow down, I just have to chuck it. She says, oh, I grew up here, I know where all the crossroads are. We’ll get you a really good one. We dumped that cursed shit in Wisconsin and left it there…
Stacey is a Heathen and an herbalist — and when she shared how she learned to beat off curses and crossed-up conditions with a bunch of freshly harvested herbs, sauna-style, I knew what else had to happen that first night of the forge…
Feet. Ankles. Knees. All of us were stiffening and limping the first two nights of the Circle. We wore ourselves down. I literally was unable to walk by sunrise Saturday; I skipped breakfast and went to bed with my feet wrapped… But somehow, on the third night, the night of Rosa Rubea, of gold, of the Philosopher’s Stone, we all managed to dance lighter, to leap, to jump… The land held us almost too tightly when we arrived, but was ready to let us go when it was clear we weren’t going to abandon her… the land missed us all during COVID too…
I came home to a spiritually cleansed and gut-cleaned apartment, lit a candle to Mars, and set red jasper sentries in my space. No one is getting in…
Well, except those couple of fellows I met before I left for Fire Circle. Both came to visit at different times at my invitation when I returned… The Venus/Mars conjunct was really good to me… you know, when you wake the next morning and you see he’s thrown your underwear onto your love altar?… that kind of good..
And I came home to a small piece of freelance editing and an interview for a position I applied for a while back. I have no expectations or leads yet. But it happened. I’ll ride the lightning that split the Tower and lit the Alchemical Fire. The magic of Fire Circle will play out for a year. Anything can happen. Maranda’s reading when I got home was explosively positive… this time, I’m not questioning it…
Rose in the Retort 