As the Light and I Return… Kind of..

In the months since my last entry, the COVID testing job has consumed my energy; I completed grant funded research successfully; I met, fell for, got ghosted by and reconnected with a man now waiting on a cancer diagnosis; one of my Fire Circle siblings died suddenly in a horrible accident; and my relationships with friends have taken a hit because I’m so exhausted. My town is slowly closing down again because of omicron, and I slept through the Winter Solstice.

See the previous entry about lack of interest in the occult occurring from being too damn tired…

So, what do you do when this much time passes on your blog?

You start where you are.

Every year I do a 12 month cartomancy spread for the new year. It’s been new regarding process; I broke up with my god recently — too many damn cosmic jokes for no good reason — and I’m not gambling the house for a better outcome anymore. So, it was a direct draw this year. The point isn’t to try to predict in January what will happen in May, but to be aware of a pattern that will play out over the year, and to prepare for any lessons coming one’s way. You turn the month over, there’s your card… be mindful of what the theme is for the month. Typically, each month I put the selected card up in all its iterations from my tarot deck collection on the fridge and I study it while having breakfast.

This year I added a Lenormand card of the month, too. Tarot for the big metaphysical themes, Lenormand for the more practical turns of fortune. So here we go for 2022…

January — Tarot: Five of Pentacles reversed. Lenormand: the Rider.

Well, on a basic level, a message of importance is headed my way; at the soul level there will be a pit of poverty I’ll be coming out of. Feels hopeful, perhaps some relief.

February — Tarot: Three of Pentacles. Lenormand: the Ship.

Something’s up. The three of pentacles is about promotion, elevation, or recognition of mastery. On a practical level, the ship portends journeys, travel, and picking up anchor and moving. Boy, I’d like to think this means a new career…

March — Tarot: the Fool reversed. Lenormand: the Man.

Zzzzzzz… Apathy and the cosmic equivalent of putting your feet up on the coffee table and having a beer. With some guy. (At least Paganicon happens that month, and there will be fellowship to look forward to if people aren’t dumb about omicron.)

April — Tarot: Four of Wands. Lenormand: the Mice.

Hoo boy. Four of wands is the festival tent, the wedding chuppah, a celebration of love and promise. The mice portend worry, poverty, never quite having enough. I wish this was an unfamiliar pattern. Maybe it will look different this year…

May — Tarot: the Tower. Lenormand: the Tower.

Holy fuck.

OK. It has to be said that these card meanings are not only different in each system, they are actually opposites. The tower in the lenormand is about institutions high aims, protection, status, and seeing over the mundane vision. The tower in the tarot takes all that and says burn the motherfucker down… May will be a very interesting and strange month…

June – OK, June is my birth month and I turn 50. (I’m getting vertigo as I type that.) What have we here?

Tarot: Three of Wands. Lenormand: the Clouds.

A goal completed a return on creative investment… that I can’t see?… Grant me vision, spirits… (I will be a guest speaker at the Earth House fest in June as well. There may be another happy reconnecting with community there too).

July — Fire Circle. Thank gods.

Tarot: Three of Swords reversed. Lenormand: the Lilies.

I really expect to be turned inside out until I’m pure. I’ll be at Fire Circle.

August — Tarot: Eight of Swords. Lenormand: the Bear.

Well, thank goodness for good friends and mentors. Because if I’m going to be feeling trapped and unaware of the ability to free myself, at least I have an elder or longtime friend to bite my butt.

September — Tarot: the Emperor reversed. Lenormand: the Scythe.

Um… hmm…hmm… This may be ugly. I’m trying not to think of my ill friends…

October — Tarot: Nine of Swords. Lenormand: the Star.

Well, whatever it is, it’ll pass, though it will be tough. At least that’s what the tarot says. The lenormand star is about occult mastery and secret truths… Evidently the solace from the ancestors that Samhain month?…

November — Tarot: the Hanged Man. Lenormand: the Crossroads.

These cards mean exactly the same thing. Liminality. Another holy fuck.

December — Tarot: the Eight of Cups reversed. Lenormand: the Tree.

I can’t help but notice that this is the only cups card in the entire read and it’s about walking away, leaving everything upturned. Again. At least the tree portends health and growth.

So, a pattern… But ultimately it’s not until daily lived reality colors the themes of each card every month that I’ll get the guidance I need.

Happy New Year.

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